This is true. We got involved with sex toys because we wanted to enjoy life. Life is short, even if you believe in an after-life, this life is still very short. If you believe in the bible it is clear that once we are done with this life, pleasures of the flesh will not be part of the package. Forget about vestal virgins in paradise, once you have kicked the bucket, all the signs in the good book are that pleasures of the flesh just won’t be important or desirable any longer.

“Lo, a carnally-minded man, one in the flesh and under its dominion, cannot please God. This is impossible while he continues to mind the things of the flesh.”(Ro 8.6)

But hey, pleasures of the flesh are important now, so you have to grab it while you can and make the most of it. The problem is, and you may have noticed this, pleasures of the flesh, actually going out there and grabbing yourself a real live woman, is fraught with problems, complications, and that nasty new word – issues.

We’re not knocking relationships, but sometimes real happiness is found from things not requiring relationships – it comes from simple things you can enjoy for yourself, by yourself or in the company of good friends – well, not so in all of our suggestions, but here is our list of ways to really start to enjoy life:

• Enjoy your food. Don’t just eat it, taste it and appreciate its richness.
• Learn to cook.
• Feel music and not just listen to it.
• Play music. Learning an instrument allows you to express yourself.
• Sing in the shower
• Take a walk in the park.
• Go for a drive
• Read.
• Watch a movie. Check out IMDb’s recommendation engine to find movies you will like.
• And of course, order yourself an Autoblow Blast. Yes, it’s a fully automatic blowjob machine and it will give you one helluva a blast. A toe curling deep throat blowjob that will bring a blush to your face and a spring to your step. Check out www.roboticblowjob.com

Whatever you do, enjoy life.

Before reading this article you should really check out ‘The unhappy history of masturbation parts 1 and 2.’ It explains the sad and sordid lengths latter day ‘experts’ in medicine and science went to prevent boys from having a good old spank of the monkey.

All kinds of ghastly mechanical devices were created and forced upon boys to prevent them from having fun. It puts in perspective how lucky we are today, for in sharp contrast, the Autoblow Blast is the first fully automatic device dedicated to encouraging both men and boys to have a cracking good blowjob.

For want of a better expression, the Autoblast is a machine that has been a long time coming. In the unenlightened past, the fire and brimstone brigade that threatened mere boys and adolescents with hell and damnation would have found in this machine the work of the devil. Today it represents the devil of a good time.

You simply lube up, slide into the soft and inviting silicone sleeve, switch on and sit back. All the angst and anxiety of previous generations just slips away as the Autoblow continues to pleasure you. How can anything that feels so right be wrong?

Dr Moodie, inventor of  Dr. Moodie’s Apparatus for Boys, would now doubt have changed his mind and his fiendish design if he’d had a go on an Autoblow.  As it is, he ruined the masturbatory joy of many a lad for generations. So lest we forget, let us celebrate the happy future of masturbation with a standing salute to the Autoblow.